Dealing with difficult holiday events? Ask the Happiness Expert.
“Hi Teresa,
The holidays are always tricky for me. I end up at events – both with family and for work – where I don’t really connect with everyone, and sometimes we just don’t share the same beliefs and values. I want to get through it all without feeling drained or frustrated. Any advice?
– Hoping to Stay Grounded“
Dear Hoping,
You’re far from alone. The holidays often bring together people who share a table, but not always a worldview. It can be stressful, especially when you feel pressure to be cheerful while tiptoeing around tension.
One helpful starting point is to ask yourself:Who do I want to be in this moment? When you focus on showing up with your own values – patience, curiosity, humour – you create an inner anchor, even when things around you feel off.
Going into an event with a small intention can also help. Maybe it’s “I’ll enjoy one good conversation,” or “I’ll notice something beautiful in the space.” Even something simple, like “I’ll be proud I showed up,” can shift your mindset. Intentions give structure and meaning to social situations, especially the awkward ones.
When it gets overwhelming, take a pause. Step into the restroom, get a glass of water, or find something to feel grateful for in the moment – maybe it’s the food, the atmosphere, or simply being in the company of someone you enjoy. These brief resets can go a long way in restoring your emotional balance.
You don’t have to be emotionally available to every comment or conversation. A simple “That’s interesting” or a change of topic is a polite way to create space. Protecting your energy is part of caring for yourself.
And remember: even in crowded, mismatched rooms, meaningful connections are still possible. Psychologist Barbara Fredrickson calls these “micro-moments of love” – small, genuine exchanges that boost well-being more than we realize. Keep an eye out for them.
You don’t have to love the whole party. But you can still love the way you carry yourself through it.
Have a question you’d like Teresa to answer in a future column? Write to stepstotruehappiness@gmail.com and include “Advice Column” in the subject line. Teresa Greco is an international TEDx speaker, certified happiness life coach, bestselling author, and Ph.D. student. She helps people reclaim their inner happiness through science-backed strategies and soul-aligned practices. Learn more at teresagreco.ca. Watch her new show The Happy Hour with Teresa Greco on the True Patriot Love platform on YouTube @TPL_media and www.tplmedia.ca.
